I just realized my last post was made during snow day 2 of 3. It's now lush and green here in Atlanta. The extended remix through-the-roof Spring pollen count almost killed me, but I've enjoyed reacquainting myself with a lot of things I've missed during those years in the desert: wisteria, dogwood, magnolia, honeysuckle...
I'm still doing those things I've been doing, looking for a job [unfortunately] and [still], freelancing as those gigs present themselves, spending lots of quality time with a bunch of amazing people I get to call friends, and doing random projects around my little house.
The things that I've filled my days with are either not significant enough to post about, or too private to share.
All things considered, I'm doing well. It's sort of amusing that I'm remarkably more positive after my life turned upside down a year ago than I've been in my entire life. I'm not sure how I managed that, but I'm certainly not gonna complain. This is the most drama free phase of my life I've ever experienced. I like that.
So.. until those things change, things remain quiet on the blog front...
It started snowing Friday afternoon in Atlanta. It was gorgeous! Big, fluffy, wet flakes. I was running errands when it started, and was amazed to see it accumulate.
This morning I woke up, opened the door to let Lola out... and was completely surprised to see it'd started snowing again.
By early afternoon, thanks to the sun and the wind, it was almost all gone. The roads were amazingly clear in the aftermath.
There's more snow in Monday's forecast. I don't remember ever seeing this much snow in a southern winter before.
However, even with all the badassedness that was OhNine, I have a sneaking suspicion I might just be all the better for having gone through it. I'm amazed at how I could lose my job, end a relationship, quit smoking, move across the country and... maintain what has been the most positive perspective I've managed in... well, the entire history of me_ness.
Deciding to come home to Atlanta was hard. There were moments I felt like I was tucking my tail and running like a coward. Instead, I've come to realize it was the bravest choice. And as my reward, I've been reminded that I'm strong, I'm smart, I'm talented, I'm fun, I'm beautiful and I'm loved. I'd forgotten all of those things at some point over the course of the year.
I'm happy to have learned to lighten my load by shedding the things that don't serve me well. I choose to honor past relationships by continuing to nurture skills I acquired within them, rather than dwelling on the negative aspects or completely disregarding them.
So after having done a loud NYE party with friends and a gorgeous, quiet New Year's Day feast with friends and colleagues, Lola and I are spending a quiet evening at home alone. I'm going spend time caring for my leather- ALL the boots and coats are seeing a lot of action this winter and could use some love. In return, they'll love me back.
I never make resolutions, but this year I have made a silent vow: continue this forward progress. Everything else will fall into place as it should.
For the last few weeks I've been working a temp, seasonal visual gig in a department store (for my former employer). It's been pretty bizarro- it's weird to be "back" (although I'm really only visiting) and WOW are things different now (in a mostly sad sort of way). I've had a small number of fleeting icky thoughts, but for the most part I've managed to stay pretty positive. (Getting up every morning is usually my biggest challenge each day: I'm older, less energetic and don't bounce back as quickly as I did when I stumbled into this profession 16 years ago!)
Some recent good stuff bullets, because I have a huge love of lists:
I'm WORKING. I'm out of the house, I'm making more $$$ than the AZ unemployment pittance (for which I was grateful, even- anything >$0, you know), I'm seeing people and being seen, I'm being useful (even if it's just for the evil retail empire- I like it just fine there).
It's been nice to brush up on some mad presentation skillz that got a little rusty while I specialized in furniture: bow tying (for a thousand, Alec), dress shirt forms (oy, my fingers hurt and my guys aren't nearly as tight and perfect as they once were... but they're getting better), Tie tying (hello again, full windsor), OMG @ fashion! I fell WAY off the fashionable truck in AZ (the land of capris, tank tops and sandals). Next week I expect to dive into kids and soft home- the departments I had when I was just a wee baby visual stylist.
Although Xmas trim was practically complete before Halloween, I didn't once hear "OMG! Already?!" for the first time EVER. On two separate occasions I did field a couple of odd, snarky questions from women mentioning the insignificance of whatever it was I happened to be doing at the time/how unfun such a repetitive job must be (on both occasions, I was tying big red bows). I smiled and replied "Honestly? There are worse things I could have to do and I'm happy to be working. I lost my job several months ago and there just aren't many jobs out there. This has been quite a lesson in thankfulness for me." Next thing I knew, the bitchy tones turned to cooing and smiling and nodding and "that's right"ing. *sigh* But the cool thing? After they walked away, I realized that a mere few years ago I'd have mirrored that tone right back at them without even realizing it. It's nice to be aware that I'm able to manipulate that into something more positive.
Budgeting doesn't have to be a bad word, mean doing without, having less than or inferior quality. I've never been a fan of mall food, but I've existed on it for almost two decades. I never batted an eye at the cost of the garbage I didn't even enjoy- it was just fuel to get me through the day. I am amazed that I feel so much better with a little effort, that I can spend considerably less money and eat much healthier food. Additionally, I make laundry detergent and cleaning products for a fraction of the cost of the stuff I used to buy while getting better results and being kinder to the environment.
Progress with house stuff projects has paused for a while, but things are holding up well. I recently caught myself saying out loud to someone that I needed to spend some time catching up on house work this weekend (which I do, but compared to the previous me? The house would be ready for guests.) The house is a bit messy- I need to do some cleaning, put some things away, take out the recycling, yadda yadda. I think I'll get right on that... after a nap. :)
In addition to feeling good about the result of my efforts, the positive feedback and different type of attention I'm receiving from friends is a most wondermousful icing on my cake sorta thing.
I'm so surprised at myself for managing to stay this positive through this scary, ego bruising adventure. Such a huge contrast to the Eeyoreish pessimist I used to be... apparently I needed a Really Big Shakeup in order to be able to see things differently.
Earlier today hopped over to Dekalb Farmers Market for restocking my pantry with the usual diverse internationalish items... and saw this stone ground buckwheat pancake mix (which costs less at YDFM). I had to have it. I had to have it for dinner tonight! I had bacon in the fridge from last night's London Broil adventure (which was teh_yum) and maple syrup in the cabinet for... just in case.
There are no craptasticalcam photos, as they weren't pretty. I'm readjusting to my Calphalon (boxed up for 3 years) and cooking with gas (something I haven't done in this century) AND multitasking in the kitchen isn't something I've ever managed well. Not to mention, cooking isn't one of my natural skills.
But they were DELICIOUS! I will have them again, and I'll visit their other products next time I'm in.
